Softness.
I ask my heart what she needs to be cleansed, calmed, comforted, and she responds, “Softness.”
I retreat to the outside of an adored coffee shop and sit in early morning light. Sun caresses sensitive skin. I write and take gentle sips of a cold brew. I kindly request the barista to pour the caffeine elixir into my own pink rose cup (a $3 Valentine’s purchase from H-E-B that absolutely delights me in all its rosy glory).
And I love that I did, because though the request was simple, it took a bit of courage. That may sound strange, but I’m still learning to advocate for my wishes, to fade away critiques from people who were too close and ill-intentioned in my upbringing, to vocalize my needs, to allow recognition and validation for my needs.
And these days my heart is yearning for softness, for ease, for light.
For love, and lots of love, and a love cultivated from intentional acts of self-care.
Self-care rises to the front of my priorities as I navigate an unexpected and happily embraced hustle-and-flow schedule that is now the heart-beating reality of my summer.
All at once there’s a boom of abundance in opportunities for yoga, pet-gigging, improv, community that signals the steady and persistent showing up to make Austin home. I feel grateful for all the palm-opening possibilities floating my way. And I shout an enthusiastic YES, which propels the narrative of my Austin time deeper and closer to my dreams, and also, halts and heightens my self-care needs.
In the bustle of joys of downward-facing dogs and meowing cats and paw-high-fiving dogs, and improv rehearsals, and brunches with friends, there’s a familiar appearance of anxiety and fidgety emergence of stress.
How will I handle all of this? How can I continue to show up mindfully, deliberately, kindly, authentically while in the hectic currents of to-dos and on-to-the-nexts?
There’s a flash of a tempting thought to cut back on my morning meditation time, to shorten my yoga practice in an effort to gain additional time to go and do and prove, but instinctively, I shake that thought away.
Stressful times call for a fierce recommitment to all my self-care practices.
Yes to morning meditation, and expand time for an evening meditation so I can restore and replenish then, too. When I pause to breathe, to reconnect, to recenter, I shape space to be. I am efficient, effective, and mindful in my choices and responses and that creates time. I always, always have time to pause and breathe and reunite with my internal intelligence. This is an absolute must in going forward and moving with clarity.
Yes to a yoga practice. This is a moving love letter to my body.
Yes to hot water and lemon, more water and less caffeine, and salads with hummus and all the nurturing foods that nourish and keep my systems spinning in well-being and health.
Yes to gauging my energy levels, and shifting plans to honor an introverted system that gets overstimulated by too much going and doing. When I tell my friends the truth and cancel with notice and commit to rescheduling soon, each and every one tells me, “Good for you. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself.”
Their support of my internal structure confirms that I have come a long and right way in surrounding myself with people who care and are strong enough in themselves to see that this change of plans has nothing to do with them, but with me, and what I need to do to be a good friend to myself and then to others.
Yes to waking up and the first thought is “thank you.” Thank you for this body, this breath, this day, and this life.
Yes to calling my best friend when I hear that she is engaged!!
This pop of glorious news arrives right when I am in a sweep of goings and doings. I burst in glee, and this engagement rockets fireworks of happiness in my heart center, and I want to call, but there’s a hesitancy. Because I am rushing, because I am busy, because I want to call when I feel more peaceful, but the time to share joy, to celebrate love, is always now. I refuse to let busyness dictate and deter me from showing up for the people I love so fiercely, and who have shown up for me.
I call. That conversation is crystalized in sweet memory. We’ve been friends since the stars, and we played make believe games that followed an intricate plot of world famous singers who were actually spies, and she’s the one who moved me to Austin to start a new life, and now she photographs bands and is marrying a man of her dreams.
Heart-thumping YES I have time to call, and create the space to celebrate this glistening new chapter with her. I have time to show up in life in a way that reflects my ideals, especially when I am busy.
This busyness is why I practice mindfulness, meditation, yoga. Those practices are tools utilized when the tides of life get strong and intense, so I can stay closer to a center of calm no matter the size of the waves.
And in staying closer to myself, I claim my power to create the ease, to ensure the gentleness, to lavish the essential self-love into the routine.
Self-love takes shape in the form of a cold brew served in a pink rose cup. This is an act of self-care that is a celebratory toast, for showing up, for being here, for doing the best that can be done, and then release and trust. Life is precious, and time is golden, so the urgency to be awake, to be love, loved, loving, to be here, buoyantly lifts me up to this present. And this present moment is a creation of a pause at a picnic table under the trees where I can write, because I always have the time to write, too, and to immerse into a flow that is creativity nurtured and granted fresh air to breathe.
So wherever you are, whatever the summer pours into your reality, remember to come home to heartbeat, to breath, to the startling vitality that is you. Rejuvenate aliveness by taking such sweet care, and answering to all things that soften, invite ease, and feel like sunlight rippling throughout your being.